Interview with a Fairy
by HoratiosBabyMama
Summary: Love my Scott/Chris stories? Dying to ask Scott some questions about himself or his sadistic host? Now you can!
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! I'm insane! I can't believe I'm actually doing this!**

Hi to my readers, how are you?

Good? Glad to hear it.

So yes, this is one of those interview stories except this time, it's actually an original character! For those of you who like my ScotCh stories but have always wondered about Chris' little fairy, now is your time to ask!

Scott has warily volunteered to bare his soul to all of you.

"I'm being forced! She threatened to put me in a dress again if I didn't! Although that dress was comfortable…"

Quiet you. Now as I was saying, Scott would love to answer any questions you may have about him, his family or his life in general.

"Just please make sure they're appropriate ladies, nothing to risqué okay?"

Yes Scott, I was just about to get to that. Ahem, we'd love to hear from you, please send your questions in. Scott will pace the floor until you do!

"I will not!...sortof…"

Seeya soon lovely readers!

"Bye!"


	2. Chapter 2

Hello internet viewing people! Welcome to the first round of my personal interview, thank you so much for the…two of you who sent in questions? _Only two_? That makes me sad! I thought more people loved me than that!

Come on, I keep the sadist under control, shouldn't I get more fan mail? Oh great, now I'm even starting to sound like Chris. Maybe I _should_ go stay with my parents for a while…

Sorry, moving on, let me just find that paper…ah, there it is. Our first question is from Arkadian Toad, Kiki's most loyal reviewer, Aww, I love you Toad! Anyway, Toad writes:

**What's his favorite color/movie/place to shop/etc...**

Well, my favorite color is always a debate between pink and purple, if I'm in a hyperactive mood then pink but if I'm more serious then purple I think.

My favorite movie? That's a tough one, I have so many, maybe one from each genre? Okay, well action would have to be The Bourne Trilogy, Matt Damon and epic fight scenes, need I say more? For comedy, I think Wedding Wars, a great film about the battle for gay marriage, with John Stamos as a gay man, soooo cute, makes me wish he _was_ gay although Chris kinda looks like John doesn't he? Then for drama/classic is Pride and Prejudice, Matthew Macfayden is dreamy but give me Bingley any day. And in the children's category are the Narnia movies, James McAvoy as a shy fawn and Ben Barnes as sexy Caspian, enough to fulfill my fantasies for a week, Mmm. Oh kid's movies? Heh, right, I mean, I enjoy the plots and dialogue…Ahem.

Moving along, my favorite place to shop…I have to _choose_? Damn, way to go for the hard questions. Um, I love Hot Topic, they supply me with my skinny jeans and fandom t-shirts. I also love Kohl's, they have the cutest t-shirts there, I mean, yeah, they're girls shirts but the guy's shirts are cute too, just too _guyish_. Wow, I am such a fairy. Otherwise for most of my shopping I go to some of the local shops around town, specially made and clerks who know me understand my need for pink and tight.

May I ask what you mean by etc? My favorite food perhaps? Easy, chocolate covered Chris. Kidding, I love pixie sticks but in case those don't count as food then apples and fish. Any other favorites you would like to know about, ask in a review becuz I don't want to ramble.

Our next questions come from Toxic Fire Starter, a new fan of ScotCh but still loved dearly nonetheless, welcome to the dark side honey. Here's your cookie.

Toxic asked:

**How do you like being with Chris?**

Well, if you've read the stories then you should know I love being with that man, however exasperating he may be. I mean, don't get me wrong, I do have my moments where I'd like nothing better than to kick him out of a second story window with his hair on fire but at the end of the day, there's still no one else I'd rather be with. What, too extreme? Can I throw him in a lake instead?

Again, I'm kidding, even if it was hilarious, I couldn't live without Chris plain and simple.

**What's he really like behind the scenes? ;)**

Again, have you read the stories? He's an egotistical sadist, acts the same off camera as he does when on camera. Although I do admit, I get to see his loving side that no one else gets to see. Shh, don't tell anyone, it would ruin his rep as a bastard, which he is, but still.

**Is the sex good?**

…

HELLZ YEAH!

Why else do you think I put up with him?

**Do you want him to marry you?**

Making me blush here Toxic…

But yeah, I would marry him in a heartbeat, if only the pervert would ask first!

Maybe I should wait in his trailer in a wedding dress and yell MARRY ME NOW BITCH! Would that be too forceful? I'll just enjoy our bliss and hope he one day gets the intelligence to propose.

**Can I be a bridesmaid?**

If he ever pops the question, you'll be the first one I call, well, after my mother of course. ;)

And that's the end of round one, hope you enjoyed it and please send in more questions! I'm enjoying this attention!

Oh, I ended this just in time, Chris is home and we're gonna go egg Chef's house!

Ciao lovelies!


	3. Chapter 3

Buenos Nachos to you lovely readers out there!

Welcome to the second round of questioning into my personal life, you nosy peeping toms! Yes, that's right; I've seen you fangirls peeking through me and Chris' skylight.

So Chris is out, wrapping up an episode of TDA and I'm waiting in his- technically our- trailer and I thought now would be a good time to check what questions you left for me.

Oh and Kiki would like to say that she is working on the next chapter of Bennet Trials and will update as soon as Chris stops holding his side of the story hostage from her. I would help but its kinda fun to see her stress and attempt to strangle Chris.

Anyway, thanks to those who sent in their questions and for those of you who still haven't, I'm crushed! I mean, Chris gets tons of fan mail every week from people like you and I get nothing? It almost brings tears to my eyes, almost; I don't want my mascara to run…

To Toad, you like Tumnus too? He's so cute! And that accent? Yum with a side of my! _And _you like P we have so much in common! You could be my new bestie! Horatio is so busy with Duncan nowadays…

And you sent in another question? Aww, too sweet Toad. I'll start with yours.

**What's Scott's favorite part of being a cameraman (besides hot hosts)?**

Hmm, the hot hosts are a big part of it, I got to work on the set of Canadian Idol once and wow some of the guys who performed! Mmm, of course that was before I met Chris so I was able to score some dates. I would say singers do it better but that trick Chris tried last week trumps anything…

But I got into filming because I wanted to be an actor and I got a job as a cameraman instead. I thought I would just do that until I got my big break in acting but then I actually got behind the camera and fell in love with it. The stuff you see on your television screens, I was there and I filmed it! It's a cool feeling. I still hope to be an actor someday but the opportunity to film Chris is one I'll never pass up. Sorry if any of the zooms get too close to his groin or if the camera shakes when I laugh, I can't help it.

Simply Dakota asked:

**Why do you have an obsession with otters and ostriches?**

Haha, sorry about those ones folks, I just like to be random and I think owning an unusual animal would be really cool. I usually just joke with Chris, asking him to get me an ostrich for my birthday or something cuz then he goes out and gets me what I really want, jewelry or candy. I'm just scared the day will come when he actually takes me seriously and I walk in to have a giant bird jump out and bite my nose. Although Chris won't even let me have a puppy so the odds of that happening are rare…

Quick write him fan mail, telling him to get me a puppy!

**Do you enjoy making Chris jealous and making him squirm?**

I don't have to, he does it for me.

Chris gets jealous of almost every male who talks to me, apparently I'm sexy to every man even straight ones and they're all just plotting to rape me as soon as he's out of the room. Chris knows that I only want him but I'm not exactly "manly" and could be overpowered easily and any guy would take the chance to _take_ me wouldn't they? (Chris' words not mine)

Now don't think that Chris is obsessive or anything, he does know that not every man I talk to will take me or something. He knows that interns are too young and disposable and that certain producers or crew are only giving me instructions on camera angles and he knows that Horatio is only joking when he gropes me. That doesn't stop him from randomly attacking Shio but it's a start.

And yeah, I do enjoy making Chris jealous, it's too easy. I just have to lower my eyelids or touch a man's arm and giggle and his fists clench and his dark eyes get even darker. My favorite is going to a club in my skinny jeans and top that just can't seem to stop sliding off my shoulders and then dancing with random guys, Chris grabbing me and showing me how to really dance is just too…YUM.

As for making him squirm, I'm sure Chris would say that "Chris McLean does not squirm" but I have seen one instance where he has. Normally he'll just grab me before he could even begin to squirm but he can't grab me in a business meeting can he?

We were meeting with the producers to talk about TDI; I was allowed to come since Chris wanted my ideas for the show included. I had just happened to wear my favorite pink lambskin boots, ripped and faded jean capris and my favorite Hello Kitty tank; I didn't realize how much this outfit affected my lover, I was curled up in one of the roller chairs, my legs folded under me as I listened to the head producer guy go over what the show would be about. I nibbled at the eraser of my pencil since I wanted to hurry up and discuss the horrendous challenges. Once he finished, I glanced at Chris who was smiling and watching me, I flipped my hair out of my face and winked at him. The producer had asked us what our ideas were and I raised my hand slightly and started going on about the camping challenge and fear factor thing me and Chris had thought up. My lips had started drying out halfway through my speech and I stopped to reapply my strawberry lipgloss (Chris' favorite flavor haha). My eyes had flicked to Chris and I noticed him watching me with that special look and I admit I got a little evil.

"So gentlemen," I had said and had moved to sit on the desk, my back to Chris, making sure my shirt had risen to show off my new tattoo that claimed me as Chris' property.

"I'm sure we can _come_ up with some much more _bad_ challenges, if you just give me and Christopher time to _work_ _together_, I know we'll achieve some _pleasing_ results," I had said all this in as seductive a voice as possible, earning some confused yet knowing looks from the producers. I glanced at Chris over my shoulder, my eyes half-lidded and ironically I was wearing that purple eyeliner he liked too. It was worth it to see him slumped in his chair, trying to look nonchalant while also covering up a slight hard on. Let's just say, I wasn't able to walk the next day and I wouldn't advise having sex on multiple desks in every single office of a large company.

So yes, making him squirm is very fun.

This last one came in a private message:

**Do you **_**ever**_** top?**

Is this a serious question? The answer would be no, I'm a true bottom in every sense of the word. Unless random blowjobs or chaining Chris to our bed so I can have my wicked way with him counts? If so, then I have never entered Chris, I've never been a top in that way so I still think the answer is no.

Grr, that's it? I need more questions people! This is too entertaining.

I hope you all enjoyed this round, I hope to talk to you all soon.

Oh Chris is back! Yay! Why does he look angry?

Dbyhu dghyd

_Hello people, I have to take Scott away now if you don't mind. I just found out that a certain model has been asking him lewd questions_.

He was asking me where I got my hair done!

_Nevertheless, I thought you hated "jailbait" and I get to teach Scott a lesson_

Rape! Rape!


	4. Chapter 4

Hello Ladies (and Gentlemen)! Hello Fanboys and Fangirls! If you are reading this then you really must get a life…

Although then so should I right? If I'm actually writing this for you to read, then maybe it is I who need a life?

Nah, this is too fun.

Welcome to round three my lovelies! Kiki and I found a review today that didn't get sent to her email and it had two questions! Which brought us to enough questions for another round! I love little coincidences like that…

_Of course he doesn't realize that he could have written this sooner if we had gotten that review on time._

Nobody asked you Kiki! Just because you're my creator, doesn't mean you can interrupt me.

_Actually I think it does since I could pair you with Chef or Chris with Lindsay. I control all!!!!_

Chef? Ew! I mean, he's nice and all but just not my type…And Chris/Lindsay?!!! I hate that pairing! How dare you even speak it! What's wrong with people? Sure, Chris likes blondes, but he wants someone with a brain.

Ahem, sorry about that folks, Kiki and I have creative differences sometimes. She did make me stubborn afterall…

So onto your questions, my bestie Arkadian Toad sent in yet another one, you rock my freaking face off honey! But don't worry about thinking of other questions, you don't need to submit a new one every chapter but I appreciate it!

**What would Scott do during a zombie apocalypse? **

Hmm, tough question. I would love to say I would brave the zombie hoards and fight through them until I reached my ultra cool rocket car and blasted the Hell out of there but more than likely I would bitch and cry and beg Chris to protect me. Meaning we would both die.

I do have a zombie plan though, it wouldn't work in a real apocalypse but its fun to think about. I would first go to Antarctica to see if the zombies would freeze before they could reach me and if that failed I would then get a flamethrower and have myself a little zombie bonfire to keep me warm. And if _that_ plan fails, I'll let the zombies infect me so I can wreak havoc on the world. Beware my rotting flesh!

The review that we found today comes from aeryn59, thank you for your support, have a cookie and a free pic of me and Chris at a nude beach.

**What are all the Halloween costumes you've worn ever?**

I was wondering when this would come up. Well should I list all of them, all 24 costumes of my existence? You probably won't stop pestering until I do and some of them are really good so I don't mind telling!

Okay, the first three years of my life were costumes picked by my parents, the stereotypical bunny, pumpkin or other cute baby thing but by four I was picking my own costumes and at four was when my parents realized I might not be a normal boy. When I was four, I had the biggest crush on Prince Phillip from _Sleeping Beauty_. So what did I dress up as? That's right Sleeping Beauty. It was awesome, I got to wear this pretty blond wig and my mom made my dress, the gray one with the black corset, not the blue princess one she wears later in the film. I got asked out by half the boys in my preschool before they realized I was a boy too.

Now I think I'll just list them before this gets too rambleish:

Five (aka 1989): Ruth and I dressed up as Hansel and Gretel, I was Gretel, she was Hansel and we left a fortune cookie at each house we stopped at (our version of breadcrumbs) I got to wear wooden shoes, they made clunking noises :)

Six: A fox, my first time as a furry, makes me want to cry.

Seven: Snow White, are you seeing a pattern? Now you know why I don't like dresses.

Eight: A playing card (the 8 of hearts, haha), Tess was Alice and Ruth was the Queen of Hearts.

Nine: Hansel and Gretel again, only this time I was Hansel while Tess was Gretel, only difference was, we left stink bombs instead of cookies.

Ten: a secret service agent, Ruth was Roger Bertrand (Quebec's President at the time)

Eleven: Robin Hood, why? Cuz I had a crush on Little John of course, you can't let me near Disney movies at all…

Twelve: a bunch of grapes, covered in purple balloons, I couldn't sit down all day.

Thirteen: a pop star, glittery pants, a pink tank top and a headset, only the beginning of my fairy days. Ah Memories…

Now when I was fourteen, that's when I stopped trick or treating, I took Tess around but I just wore regular clothes. I did that when I was fifteen and sixteen too, although when I was 16, I did wear a pig nose to make Tess laugh.

Seventeen was my first costume party, actually the seniors Halloween dance at my school, I was an angel, pretty wings and a white toga although I felt more devilish than angelic, my boyfriend and I couldn't keep our hands off each other, he made one sexy vampire (sadly he dumped me a few weeks later)

Eighteen, I was Jasmine because- you guessed it!- I love Aladdin, such a cute shirtless street rat. I'm going to the special Hell aren't I?

When I was nineteen, I moved to Alberta because of a scholarship I had won to an art school there and I thought I could start my acting career, anyway, there was a club near campus that had a big party on Halloween every year. My friends convinced me to go as a playboy bunny, boy did I get groped and pinched that night, thank God for the buddy system! It saves lives! And virginities!

The summer I turned twenty was when I got hired as a cameraman and that Halloween I was working but I did wear cat ears while filming.

At 21 (almost two months exactly before I started dating Chris) I went to the crew party our company threw and dressed as the Joker, so I could play pranks on people and blame it on being in character.

Next Halloween was me and Chris' first Halloween together so we did a couples thing and dressed Shang-Li and Mulan (yes Disney, deal with it) guess who was Mulan? At least I got to wear a silky kimono.

And you know the following costumes, a nurse and belly dancer, I'm considering the playboy bunny thing again for this year just to torture Chris, what do you think?

Oh my, I'm so sorry about the length of this one, I could have been vaguer and just listed them without explanations but you asked…

That's what you get for dealing with a sadist who's dating an even bigger sadist!

**Can you tell us about Horatio and Duncan? **

Ah, Horatio/Duncan or as I like to call them 'Horkin'. They're almost as sappy as me and Chris!

Well, I can't tell you too much, as their story will be explained in the future by Kiki but I can tell you Horatio is my best friend, we met about a year before TDI when he first started interning. He's a genius and really cool and funny and kinda perfect for Duncan actually, he keeps the punk in his place. I'd love to tell you more about them but Horatio will tell you about it in his own time. I won't steal his spotlight.

Our last questions come from Simply Dakota, love and cookies to you too Hun!

**Does Chris have any kinks?**

Hmm, let's see…

There's banging me in producer's offices, fantasies of me being his little slave boy, the fact that he must bite my neck when I wear perfume, putting me in skimpy outfits, insisting he is a pirate and that he must claim his booty. Handcuffs, making me jealous so I'll be more 'passionate', kissing my neck and having me quote Van Wilder when I give him a blow job.

Actually he pretty much just has an obsession with my neck…oh and one of his weirdest kinks that he probably doesn't want shared with the world wide web, he likes to have me suck his toes…

I make him wash his feet first of course but still, isn't that funny?!

**Have you ever done anything to Chris and then felt guilty about it? **

Oh wow, um sometimes. Even sadists have consciences. I mean, did you _see_ Chris during the disaster episode of TDA? When the subs were sinking? I had to give him a full body massage afterwards just to get him to calm down. And I do mean _full body_, hee-hee.

Although, I wonder what Chris would think if he knew _I_ was the one who gave Chef those life-threatening ideas for the challenge, not Chef himself. Hmm, now I feel kinda guilty about that…damn.

I don't usually feel guilty about the little pranks we pull on each other every day but there have been a few times I think I went too far.

Like the time I kissed a host from a different show in front of Chris just to see what would happen, don't look at me like that! It was just a quick peck but Chris didn't talk to me for a day until I wore my slightly too small silk pajamas and gave him the puppy dog look. Works every time.

Then there was the time I loosened a wheel on his skateboard and he almost broke a leg but he made me break my wrist once so it's only fair.

The biggest one though was probably my sex strike, I was mad at Chris for some reason I can't remember now and held out on sex for almost two months. You should have seen him! He was so out of it and temperamental almost depressed. Although it was even better when I finally ended the strike, Chris had to carry me home and we were banned from that Barnes and Noble. Good times.

But the things I've done are nothing compared to Chris! Of course, you've all seen the sadist extreme he can be.

There are dozens of examples but the one that is freshest in my mind is the horror movie challenge. You all remember the beginning of that one right? Where Chris fell off a set and impaled himself? Yeah, great prank right?

Well do you think he told a certain boyfriend it was all a hoax? Nope.

So there I was sitting at home, watching the show when I see the _love of my life_ "die" on live television. I couldn't breathe for a full ten seconds.

Totally Chrisally Fine my ass…

Wow, this was a long one, I'm sorry my lovelies, I hope you enjoyed it.

Can't wait to get more questions, I love you all.

Till next time,

Scott MacLean (haha, made you look!)


	5. Chapter 5

…

Hi.

…

I'm hiding from Chris and it's really hard to type quietly. Hopefully he won't be able to find me here, it is a café about a mile away from set and I'm wearing a hoodie, he won't recognize me right?

Oh, why am I hiding from him? Well, ya see, I kinda dyed his hair green.

It washes right out! But he'll still be livid; especially since I stole his clothes too and only left him a green loincloth to wear. I want to roleplay tonight with him as the Jolly Green Giant.

Is that wrong?

Okay, yes it is, and it's funny as Hell but Chris started this prank war and I'm not letting him win that easily. He did replace my lipgloss with glue afterall, and _that is unforgivable._

Anyway, on a more positive note, welcome to the fourth round! Kiki doesn't think I have enough questions for another chapter but I'm gonna do it anyway, what can she possibly do?

Ow! That hurt!

...

Why do I have boobs? Kiki turn me back, I'm sowwie!

Phew, that was a close one, I don't wanna be an icky girl, don't get me wrong, I love you gals but there's a reason I'm gay, not a transsexual. Besides, that barista is staring a little too intensely at my chest now.

Okay, anyway, _anyway_, let's start this before I ramble too much more.

First off, Kiki has a question for you guys. She has an account on Youtube but only knows how to make slideshows, can anyone tell her where she can get clips so she can make actual videos? She has an idea for a Chris video but it wouldn't work as a slideshow. Even with the pictures I gave her of our vacations and such!

If anyone can tell her, that'd be so helpful.

And now, our first questions came from James Stark who asked:

**What do you think would happen if Chris had a twin brother?**

Hee-hee, lucky me?

Kidding, I'm not sure what would happen if Chris had a twin, if it was a clone with the same exact personality as Chris, then maybe I'd have two Chrissie's vying for my attention? That would probably end badly. Good thing Chris is against incest.

Hmm, if this twin was gay also and more rich and successful than Chris, you'd probably never see me again, I'd be living in a mansion in Brazil. Yeah Brazil, why? Cuz I love monkeys and bananas of course.

Hmm, but then again, what if Chris' twin, let's call him Jude, was an exact opposite of Chris? Considerate, introverted, peaceful and good with kids. Blech, sounds gross. Who would want a guy like that?

Not sure I like the idea of Chris having a twin. I have a feeling I'd get confused and kiss Jude and then Chris would get mad and kill his brother and then go to jail and I wouldn't have money for bail and some macho criminal would make Chris his bitch.

All around, just not a good scenario, don't you agree?

Okay, on to the next question which was asked by James Stark's 7 year old sister.

**Are you really a fairy?**

Aww, the innocence of the young. So cute! I love you sweetie for asking this!

Technically, no, I am not a fairy, that is, if you mean the mythical creature with wings and magic powers then no, I'm not.

However, if you mean a fairy, as in a feminine gay man who likes wearing glitter and tight clothes and is smaller than most men and therefore "pixie-like" then DUH. Where have you been, reading Chris/Lindsay fics? Get your mind out of those boxes and read the good stuff alright? All of my biographies written by Kiki, all point to me being a certified fairy. I wonder what it would be like if I was a _real_ fairy? Let the fantasy plot bunny be born!!! Mwahaha!

The final questions come from TwilightAddict111, Yay, a fellow fan! Although I gotta say I prefer Carlisle over Edward. Sexy doctor, Mmm. Hah, moving on, I don't dare talk about "that series" in case Kiki shows up again. I don't wanna end up with Chef as punishment. Although he does bake some badass lemon bars.

**What is the most embarrassing thing Chris has done to you or said to you in public?**

Ahem.

1. Attacking a fellow cameraman who was merely helping me with the camera angle, just because his arm was around me does not mean he was flirting.

2. Made me wear a _dress_

3. Tried to make out with me when we were babysitting our neighbors' kids, after the kids had been put to bed, their parents walked in to the two of us on the floor, with me shirtless and pushing Chris away with my feet while he struggled to grab me and was making kissy faces at me.

4. The Watermelon Incident. Don't ask.

5. "Hey Scott, look what I found buried in the closet!" Holds up a pair of leather shorts and a riding crop. My mother was visiting.

6. "Aww come on babe, they're bumps, it's not like its herpes!" to a waiting room full of other people afflicted with things way worse than my case of hives.

7. Flirted with me and got me aroused and then left me standing there, about a mile walk from our apartment.

8. Confronted Ricardo about seducing me only to be told that Rick was straight. Jealous idiot. Still thinks Rick is after me though…

9. Followed me around one day, singing songs from "A Very Potter Musical" at the top of his lungs. "Pigfarts" was stuck in my head for a week straight.

10. "It spread?" spoken into his loudspeaker on the set of TDA. We were talking about ratings but that's not what the crew thought.

And those are just the top ten.

**What is the best thing Chris has done for you?**

Gave me his heart.

Best gift ever and I'm not ever giving it up.

End of round four.

Hope you enjoyed it everyone, I love you and thanks for the questions, keep them coming!

Oh, I think I just saw Chris pass by, he looks kinda cute with green hair…and that loincloth is getting him some looks. Score!

Ciao lovelies!


	6. Chapter 6

Hello Internet viewing world!

I'm back with yet another round of my personal interview. Eee! I'm so excited!

Although, I did just eat ten pixie sticks…hee hee.

How are all of you out there? I'm feeling particularly happy today becuz I went shopping with Horatio and we bought our Halloween costumes, they're matching. I am, as promised, dressing as a playboy bunny and Shio bought a particularly naughty Cheshire cat outfit. Boys, watch out, we're gonna be hot! Shio even said he would dye his hair purple for the occasion (with a streak of green just to drive Duncan wild)

As far as I know Chris is dressing up as Jason again, how romantic right? A bloody killer and a bunny, we'll get the most shocked looks from everyone I'm sure. Can someone change his mind maybe?

Oh well, you guys don't want to hear my complaining, you came here with the intention of having questions answered! So I'll do just that, I have a while before Chris gets home; he's at a meeting with the producers but he'd better hurry, the spaghetti I made is getting cold.

Haha, anyway, our first question is from the ever enchanting Arkadian Toad, love you honey! We still on for mani/pedi's this weekend?

**What kind of music does Scott listen to?**

Ah music, the joy within my soul. I love all kinds of music except for most rap, screamo, and yodeling.

I mainly listen to Rock, Pop and Trance. My favorite bands or artists consist of Aerosmith, the Beatles, Backstreet Boys, (it's actually an on and off kinda thing), Bon Jovi, Toy box, KT Turnstall, Vengaboys, Chris Brown, Daft Punk and Miley Cyrus.

Don't judge me for that last one; I like her songs, not Miley herself. I've also recently become a fan of Metro Station and Owl City, they're catchy and I really like the lead singer of Metro Station, hee hee, makes Chris jealous. He keeps ripping down my poster of the band, like we don't have pics of _Chris_ all over the apartment. Adorable idiot…

But mainly I'll listen to anything, I love happy music, something I can dance to. Heck, I've been known to dance to classical music. Listen to the techno version of _In the Hall of the Mountain King _and I dare you not to bounce around at least a little bit.

Oh and speaking of music, in case you were wondering, our song is _Born to be my Baby_ by Bon Jovi although I think _Guilty Beauty Love_ by Vic Mignogna fits Chris a lot better. Listen to it; you'll see what I mean.

Our next questions come from Crazy4Pie, I love your profile hun, go ZIM! ^_^

**What is the funniest memory you have of your sisters?**

Only one? Really? Out of the millions of memories I have with my family, you expect me to choose one? That's just not possible when you live with the Bennets my dear.

I'll yet again go with the top ten option, if you'd like me to elaborate on any of them, I will in future sessions otherwise ask more specific questions.

1. When they brought Tess home from the hospital, I being the cute toddler that I was, asked my parents to take her back and bring me a puppy.

2. Ruth came home from her first day of 7th grade to find that Tess and I had covered her dresser mirror in lipstick pictures.

3. The Thanksgiving when Ruth was a vegetarian and threw my mom's beautiful turkey into a mud puddle.

4. Tess' first date, my dad scared the poor boy so much that he peed his pants. My dad had only asked his name and mentioned he was coach, wondering if the guy played any sports. Tess was 12.

5. Again, the Watermelon Incident. You don't wanna know. All of Edmonton is still trying to forget.

6. The time all three of us, took baskets of cookies downtown and handed them out for free, one lady asked if they were poisoned. If they were, do you think we would have told her?!

7. For the school talent show, Tess and I acted out scenes from Monty Python and the Holy Grail. We got tumultuous applause.

8. At my high school graduation, when my name was called, Tess ran onstage and grabbed my diploma and presented it to me with a grand bow. So much better than just shaking the principal's hand.

9. When I told Tess I was dating her favorite TV host, she screamed "Ask Chris if I can eat him!" She was on speakerphone. Chris and I couldn't stop laughing.

10. When Ruth got revenge on Chris for the bucket of water over her door by feeding him cupcakes with laxative frosting.

I love my sisters, they are absolutely the best.

**What websites do you spend a lot of time on?**

Well, I seem to spend my life on fanfiction…haha, sorry, had to say it.

I love Mylifeisaverage, it's a great site and some of the stories remind me of my own life. I'm always on deviantart or Youtube, looking up cute pics and videos. I like this site called Tvtropes; it's really interesting and has examples of all kinds of things in different shows like Ho Yay (Homoerotism Yay) which mentions TDI and Chris. Haha.

Otherwise I don't spend much time on the computer. Oh! But it should be noted that I, Scott Bennet, now have a Facebook! I'm so excited about it! Please add me! I'd love to have you guys as my friends! Now if only I could convince Chris to get one…maybe if I mentioned the fan base he'd get…

And that is all for this round, I can't wait to hear from you! Peace out homeskillet biscuits!


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello, Kiki here, before I let Scott do his thing, I just wanted to let you all know that Scott wasn't lying last time about having a Facebook. Yes, I created an account for a fictional character so if you want to be uber dorks along with me then please feel free to friend Scott. His account will give updates about future stories and you can give ideas or just genuinely interact with an OC. Have I mentioned I'm a dork? **

**On with the interview!**

Hi everyone! Sorry about the graffiti above but Kiki just had to make a point, she's such a worrywart! Although she does have the right idea, I do need friends on my Facebook. I'm lonely. :(

Hee hee, just kidding. I'm doing really well at the moment, getting ready for Halloween and then our anniversary is right around the corner! Eee, Chris mentioned he might take me on a trip! I'm hoping for the Caribbean or something tropical. I'm sure Chris will agree once I point out it will be a trip of me in nothing but swim trunks. Horny Bastard.

And I hope all of you are doing good as well, now settle down, grab some pixie sticks and soda and enjoy the interview!

Okay, first up is DarkMindedThinker89:

**What are the most embarrassing things you've seen happen to Chris?**

Mwahaha! Finally I get to leak out blackmail material about him! Mwahaha!...whoa, was that lightning?

Ahem, Chris getting thrown into Lake Wawanakwa, at least, he's still embarrassed about it. I don't think it's that bad and he did deserve it. Chris getting turned down by the producers for his toddler version of TDI was pretty funny too and also makes me never want to adopt kids…

There was also the time Chris and I were staying at this hotel and the bellhop was spending all his attention on me as he showed us to our room and he closed the elevator doors on Chris. The best part was though, that the bellhop was a contestant on Canadian Idol which Chris was host of at the time and the kid still didn't recognize him.

Chris considers the Watermelon Incident as embarrassing, I just consider it gross.

He freaked out when we were on a trip to New York, he thought I had gotten kidnapped or something and was yelling at people in the streets when I had just stopped to look at a display and Chris had walked half a block ahead of me. Such a lovable moron.

**What is the thing you love most about Chris, looks or personality-wise?**

_Easy. Chris' pen-_

Stop that! I go to get some water and Chris tries to take over and make this perverted. Hang on while we get situated, Chris wants to cuddle.

_Do not. I just want to read over his shoulder and that's easier to do with Scott on my lap._

Riiiiiiiiiiight.

Well, in the looks category, it's definitely not his hair. Haha. It's his smile of course, you've seen it, and it's gorgeous. His chest isn't bad either ;) Chris stop gloating. I can see his reflection in the screen.

Chris has a personality? He's not just a piece of arm candy? Hmm, I guess I like his sense of humor, it can be sick at times but he is funny. He's also loyal and affectionate, I love that especially since I'm the only one who gets to see it.

_You make me sound like a dog babe…_

You're not one? Wow, you learn something new everyday…

And now, we have more from James Stark and Lizzie. Dude, I'm surprised you let a seven year old read this! I feel like I need to censor it or something although it is rated T…

**Have you ever kissed a girl? On purpose not because you were dared or she kissed you.**

Damn. You covered all the bases. Smart cookie you are. And the answer as stated in A and B Equals You and Me I have not kissed a girl. Ever. I've been dared to but never took that dare. I have however had a girl kiss me. She wasn't very bright and we were partners on a science project. She said she liked my intelligence and fashion sense, you think tight pants and hello kitty shirts would have been a clue. But don't worry, she was brought back to Earth when she saw me and my bf of the time holding hands.

She was like the Mercedes to my Kurt from Glee.

**(From Lizzie) Are you sure you aren't a girl?**

Chris is gonna die laughing now just so you know.

And no, I am not a girl though I was created by a girl so that might have something to do with it.

**What would you do if Chris was turned into a girl?**

Ha. His laughing has stopped now.

_If I was a girl? I'd be the most kickass girl ever! Men would fall at my feet!_

Oh like women do now? That shut him up.

If Chris _turned into_ a girl from the "epitome of manliness" he is now then I would promptly freak out.

There can't be two femmy people in this relationship! I'm girly enough for both of us! And plus Chris would get no lovin' while in girl form. Blech. So if Chris did get turned into a girl by some odd accident, I'd find a cure as soon as possible.

Besides, I think Chris would make one bitchy woman…

Our last questions come from ShinigamiKarasu. Thank you honey, I'm sure I'd find you adorable also!

**What are Chris' most annoying habits?**

Well, in Round 3, there is a question about his kinks, I think some of his habits fall under that question also but other habits would be, hogging the bathroom fooorevveer!

He leaves his gory mystery books all over the apartment. He thinks everyone and anyone loves him and will therefore do whatever he asks. He can't eat soup without slurping it. He likes to blast country music and then always falls asleep (I don't know how he can with the music so loud) which leaves me to grumble and turn it off.

_I don't know why you find country so annoying! ;)_

Oh shut up Christopher. You do it on purpose.

He also has this annoying habit of being a smug idiot but that's curable with some well-placed sarcasm. Support the Chris-bashing!

_Hey! Don't encourage them! Don't forget people, I'm nice to Scott and that's what matters right?_

Okay, I will admit, the dopey look he gets after being kissed isn't exactly annoying…

**What's your dream wedding and can I come?**

Not sure I feel comfortable writing this with Chris over my shoulder but oh well, I think he could use some hints on how to _please_ me.

First off, of course you can come, you can be one of my bridesmaids along with Tess and Ruth.

It would be outside, in a park, when it was lightly snowing of course. James McAvoy would be wearing a Victorian style tux and be waiting for me under an arch covered in snow and silver roses. I'd be in a pretty white tunic and silver fingerless gloves and the end of my cape would be carried by Matthew MacFayden. My mother would play the wedding march on a huge pipe organ and purple birds would fly around as I walked up the aisle and Liam Neeson would be the pastor.

_Wait, did you say James McAvoy? _

Yes. As Mr. Tumnus preferably. Mmm.

_Shouldn't your wedding have me somewhere in it?!_

They said my DREAM wedding…

_I'm not in your dream wedding?_

No. A wedding to you would just be a normal wedding, They asked for my dream wedding.

_You don't dream of being married to me?!_

…

Thank you for all your questions! See ya next time!

_He's blushing!!! He does wanna marry me! Ha!_

TUMNUS!


	8. Chapter 8

(Note: Please read in a British accent, it makes this ten times cooler or if you are actually British then read in the accent of your choice)

Hello internet users of all ages! It's been a while; I've missed you all so much! And thanks to all of you who reviewed 'Cheese and Whine' it was much appreciated. And for those who couldn't guess, Flipper was the name of Chris' character in that badminton movie. I can't believe I've existed for a year already. Wow, how have you people dealt with me for so long?

Before I start, I'd like to point out a few things. First, facebook, I realized that I'm not the only Scott Bennet. I'm not even the only Scott Bennet in Edmonton! I have a name twin, still haven't found him yet though…

So for those of you who wanted to add me on facebook but couldn't find me, I'm the first Scott Bennet from Edmonton, Alberta and I'm the only cartoon picture (blonde hair and a green sweater). Hope that helps some of you and if you send a friend request, please attach a personal message that says you're a fan of ScotCh or something so I know you're not some random creeper!

To Jay Puff, yeah, we are so canon it's insane. I love hearing from you guys about moments you noticed in TDI/A, if not about ScotCh then at least moments pointing to Chris being as flaming as a burning marshmallow. Makes our day that you noticed them too. Oh and by the by, I totally won that prank war during TDA. Don't mess with camera 2 man! Although, I wasn't actually working as a cameraman at the time, all the campers remembered me and thought I was…

Alright! Let's get this party going! Welcome to the biggest session yet, you all sent in so many questions. There are almost 20! My goodness lovelies, you're gonna make me squeal myself into oblivion and then Chris will most likely track you down and hurt you. And don't think he can't, he _knows_ people. What I mean to say is, I love all the questions you sent in (as an added bonus, it makes Chris jealous since I get about as much fan mail as him now).

So our first questions come from TwilightAddict111, glad to hear I'm your favorite fairy honey. Do I even beat Tinkerbelle? Cuz I didn't think that was possible…

**What is your favorite childhood memory?**

Hmm, well this kinda goes along with a question from the last session about my favorite sibling moments. But I can think of a few that don't involve my sisters. Most include dressing up or playing with friends in the park or Christmas with the family but I think one of my memories I remember most clearly may be the time my grandma almost died.

I was six, Tess was toddler and my parents had to take her to the doctor for a check up. Ruth was 12 and at summer camp so my parents took me to stay with my grandma for the day. Ophelia Bennet was 80 and still living on her own even after Grandpa Norm had passed three years previously (Me and Kiki have grandfathers with the same name, how freaky is that?!).

Now, of course, being a Bennet, my grandma wasn't your typical elderly person. But I think you all could've guessed that…

She lived in an average looking house with an overpopulation of lawn gnomes but inside the house was an artist's paradise. My grandma was a painter and her house was all white walls and wood floors. Only the living room had carpet and wallpaper, why? Because the rest of the rooms were used for painting. My grandma didn't use canvas to paint on, she just painted the walls. Every surface of her house was paint-splattered, even the cat and yet, she still managed to make the house smell of cookies. I swear, that's a super power all grandmothers possess.

So for a six year old, going to Grandma Bennet's was an adventure. What child wouldn't want to be able to throw paint at walls without being punished?

Anyway, I was excited to see Gram and she smothered her favorite grandson with kisses and we spent the day baking cookies, reading stories and having a paint war. We were covered from head to toe in paint and you could barely make out the label on my grandma's Elvis t-shirt. We had settled on the floor and were playing tic-tac-toe on a somehow clear space of wall when Gram noticed that it was almost time for my parents to come get me. She smiled at me and asked me if I wanted to play a prank on them. People always wondered, where did I get my sadist tendencies from? It was totally because of Grandma Ophelia.

Her prank was genius, at least to a six year old. She took a bucket of red paint and added water to it and a bit of corn syrup and proceeded to splash it on the walls of the front entry. She then put streaks on the corners of my mouth and made a realistic looking gash across my neck and told me to lay in the doorway between the entry and the kitchen. She dipped a knife in the "blood" and laid it on the floor by my "corpse". She then sat at the kitchen table and began to sob uncontrollably when she heard my parents knock.

She told them about a crazed killer and then faked a heart attack. My giggles gave us away eventually and the looks on my parents' faces were priceless. The absolute horror slowly turning into absolute fury. Gram and I couldn't stop laughing. She lived to the ripe old age of 90. I miss her…

**What is the stupidest thing you and Chris have done in public?**

Trying to steal a horse from a Mountie comes to mind or trying to have sex in a Ferris wheel. Or how about the time we thought it would be a good idea to vandalize Chef's house and car and both ended up with gunshot wounds in our legs? So many others but trust me, you just don't wanna know and I also don't want to lose your respect.

**If you and Chris could travel back in time, when, where and why?**

Regency England. We've had this conversation before and have decided that's the best. He'd be Mr. Maclean with a sum of ten thousand a year and I'd be Scott Bennet of Longbourn who goes to a ball disguised as a woman and falls madly in love with the dark-haired gentleman despite his arrogant attitude but is ashamed of disguising himself in the first place and Mr. Maclean searches desperately for the lady he met and keeps bumping into her "twin brother" instead. But then in a moment of passion, the tale comes spewing out and Mr. Maclean doesn't care and they all live happily ever after. Similar to a Jane Austen novel? I have no idea what you're talking about…

Our next questions come from my favorite duo, James Stark and Lizzie. And fine, Liz-bizkit I won't censor my stories. Wouldn't want to lose my youngest fan now would I? Love you honey

**(From Lizzie) Do you like rats? My rat is being eval and I don't want him anymore.**

Well, personally I don't care for rats much, they're cute but we once had a rat in our house when I was little and it scared me, it was huge! Like the rat from Lady and the Tramp. I'm sorry your rat is 'eval' though honey. I'll gladly take him off your hands but only if his name is Splinter and he can do karate.

**What are you being for Halloween? I think you should dress up like a werewolf becuz they get to run around shirtless and explode out of their clothes.**

Heehee, I agree Lizzie. I loved New Moon and Jacob especially although I couldn't convince Kiki to see it with me. She threatened to yell at the screen the whole time but Horatio went with me and it was so good.

I didn't dress as a werewolf though and I decided not to do the playboy bunny either. I dressed as Alice to match Horatio who was the Cheshire cat. I wore a short blue dress, all puffy and cute and guess what? Chris didn't go as Jason or some creepy axe murderer, he was the Mad Hatter! He looked really good in a yellow and green tuxedo surprisingly, I adored the purple top hat though.

**(Now James) What would you do if by some twist of fate, Chris got you pregnant?**

Okay, first off, Lizzie's questions were not weird! They were awesome.

Anyway, if I got pregnant? Hmm, I don't know. I'd love to have a kid but you've seen Chris around children…it might not be good although I should give Chris some credit and assume he'd be good to his own child.

No question about it, if my eggo got prego, I'd keep the baby. The hard part would be telling Chris he was gonna be a daddy. What do you think of the name Vanessa? I'd have to follow the family tradition of the alphabet. Should I mention I'm an uncle now? Ruth's son Uriah is about 6 months old…

Damn, thinking about being pregnant is giving me cravings for chop suey and I don't even know what that is…

**Have you taken the Seme/Uke quiz? What was your result?**

I did take that quiz, as per your request and was surprised. I expected to be a flamboyant uke or maybe even romantic seme but nope, completely unexpected result though the description is pretty fitting.

I, Scott Bennet, am a Badass Uke. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! So cool!

"Other uke admire you, some seme fear you. Despite your sometimes flaming appearance, you can even fool other people into thinking you are seme with your mischievous, manipulative attitude, but when push comes to shove, your true submissive nature emerges. It takes a seme with enough intensity to challenge you and keep you satisfied, and your perfect match, the Don't Fuck with Me Seme, knows that all that naughty teasing just means you want the punishment."

I had Chris take the quiz too and he thought he'd get the Sadistic Seme but I laughed so hard at his flabbergasted look. Chris is the Chibi Seme.

"Mischievous, loyal, and intelligent, the Chibi Seme always seems to have a quiet energy whispering around them, suggesting that there is much more to them then what there first appears to be. Laid-back, and not one to call a lot of attention to themselves, they tend to guard their creative, forceful, (and somewhat manipulative) inner self behind an easygoing and playful exterior shell, which makes it impossible for most to truly know them. It takes a special Uke personality to see into the Chibi Seme's deep hidden self and release their sensual side, but once the Chibi Seme has let in that one special person, they will be forever loyal, loving, and protective. A Chibi Seme will never be completely happy with just the ordinary. Setting themselves somewhat apart from the rest of the world, they need someone like-minded to keep them challenged intellectually and spiritually - a partner to inspire their dark naughty adventures and give them the motivation to take control."

Oh and guess who's compatible with a Chibi Seme? A Badass Uke. Me and Chris were so fated to be together!

"Intellectually and physically a highly compatible match - the Badass Uke and Chibi Seme could be the best of friends and lovers. Partners in crime, their mischievous, naughty natures complement each other, giving them a thrilling and passionate relationship."

Woohoo! Thanks James Stark for lifting my spirit with that quiz and proving that me and Chris really are true lovers. Heehee.

Next up is Jason Krueger Myers…you'd get along great with Chris wouldn't you?

**What is the Watermelon Incident?**

I told you, you don't wanna know!!! But I knew this would come up eventually so I might as well get it over with.

All I'll say is that it involved Chris, a watermelon eating contest, stomach problems and Chris puking pink stuff all over me and my sisters. Told you that you didn't wanna know. Ew.

**When and how was your first time 'playing the skin flute'?**

Thank you for putting it that way, never heard that one before. Although not sure I wanna get that personal with you guys, I mean I love you but these are my most precious memories. Plus Chris might read this and go kill the guy. Yep, Chris wasn't my first, are you surprised or not? Some people are because I'm so "innocent" and cute.

Okay, my first time was in college with a guy I really liked, I think he was a bouncer or bartender and it was in the grass at the local make-out spot. Missionary if you must know and no, I will not explain what that is. And that's all you'll get out of me about that.

Moving on! ShinigmaiKarasu! We're still going out for ice cream tomorrow right?

**What's the most epic prank you've done with Chris?**

Hmm, that's quite a list…

But that'd probably be the entirety of the Total Drama fandom. We had too much fun torturing those kids.

Other epic pranks include, the time I seduced our noisy neighbor just so Chris could steal his stereo and Xbox. He still thinks I'm a girl and we still have his Xbox. I quite like the game Twilight Princess.

Or maybe the time we changed the locks on all our buildings doors so no one could get into their apartments unless they bought the keys from us.

I personally like the time we went on mystery Google and left a mission for people in Edmonton to go to a certain place and then we called the police and got a 'cult meeting' arrested. Too evil? Were you there? No? Then why worry?

**How did you get back at Heather for banning you from TDA?**

Oh, I stole her wigs, put rocks and bugs in her bed, poked her with a stick when she was off-camera, called her mother and told her Heather was a lesbian, went in chat rooms and told all kinds of geeks that Heather from TDI/A really liked WoW and trigonometry and would love to have a boyfriend who could recite the first 200 digits of pi. I also tripped her at every opportunity, left Harold's dirty laundry in her bed and managed to spit in every one of her meals, all without getting caught.

Chris was so proud and me being evil is a turn on apparently so he was also even more horny than usual during this time. I'll just play innocent ;)

And second to lastly, Crazy4Pie! Don't worry about not submitting questions for every chapter, it's not required, just whenever you think of one, send it in!

**What is the weirdest thing you've ever eaten?**

Crickets. Surprisingly good.

**What new movie are you looking forward to seeing?**

DISNEY'S PRINCESS AND THE FROG! I can't wait for that one! It looks so good and it'll be the first Disney movie (minus Pixar) that I've seen in theaters since 2000!

I'm also looking forward to Alvin and the Chipmunks and Avatar. And have any of you heard that they're making a new Alice in Wonderland? That looks awesome and has Johnny Depp, yummy.

Movies I've watched recently would be, The Proposal and the Ugly Truth. So good, Sandra Bullock and Katherine Heigel are such great actresses. I'm also in the deepest love ever with the new Star Trek movie. Go see it even if you're not a ST fan, you'll love it. Just the amount of hot guys alone is enough reason to see it. Chris Pine! Squeal!

And I just want to eat Chekov with whip cream and cherries. He's too cute. But he belongs to Sulu so I guess I'll back off since I don't want to face a badass fencer.

**What TV shows or movies have you helped film?**

Well, any local show or Canadian show filmed in Edmonton at our studio. I go wherever the producers send me. I have helped film some movies like The Assassination of Jesse James and Snow Day. But otherwise, I stick to TV like Canadian Idol or TDI. And, ugh, the occasional soap opera…

**Do you like cartoons/kid's shows? If so, which ones?**

Is this even a question? I LOVE CARTOONS. Mainly Disney but I've always been a big kid at heart.

I love Storm Hawks, 6teen, Code Lyoko, Fairly Oddparents and Justice League. Does anyone remember Animaniacs? That was one of my favorites.

And when I was a kid, I was a big Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fan, I still wanna marry Donny. And you can't forget the classics like Flintstones or Jetsons.

Currently I'm into Clone Wars and this kid's show called Charlie and Lola, anyone know it? It's cute and don't dare make fun of me for liking it or for the fact that I own a Charlie doll…

And last but not least is Shadowlexis. I love the pet name darling ;)

**Whenever Chris is sick like a stroppy teenager, are you there to take care of him and vice versa?**

Hell no! I do take care of him of course but wait on him hand and foot? Please, I cook his meals, I clean the loft and Chris is such a whiny bitch when he's sick. I usually give him soup and two doses of Nyquil so he's zonked out for most of it. When we first got together I did the whole hand and foot nurse thing but I learned quickly, Chris will take advantage of that and treat you like a slave so no, I take care of him but I do not treat him like a prince.

Although I will admit, Chris makes up for it when I'm sick. He's totally awesome, he checks on me every few minutes, makes sure I'm comfortable and he makes_ the best_ chicken noodle soup! I got pneumonia last winter and Chris sat and held my hand and stroked my hair the entire time, only leaving me to get supplies. He's so sweet.

And Lexis, I don't know when you'll see images of us! Kiki can't draw to save her life so it's up to you fans to make our fandom grow! Lord knows, I've given you enough ideas for pictures just in this chapter alone! Draw my mind slaves' draw! Heheh, just kidding.

And phew! Done! This took me…4 hours? Wow, I gotta stop letting myself get distracted by quizzes and cute t-shirt sites.

Thank you once again, I love you all, send in those questions, hug a duck and spread peanut butter on your father. Did I mention I love iCarly also?

Now I'd better go before Chris decides to start Van Wilder without me.

May the Force be with you!


	9. Chapter 9

So Kiki is too lazy to update any of her other stories so here I am again. She would like me to send out a teaser though that a Horatio/Duncan story might be hitting the internet soon. And to all those who have given up hope on Slush Black, don't worry Kiki is trying to get inspiration for it. But since her computer died, she almost lost all her files and can't open the beginning of the new chap that she already had typed so just hang in there. Slush will be revived someday.

With that said, HI PEOPLE! How are all of you? Chris and I are doing well. Now that TDA is finally over, Chris is officially back home and currently vegging on the couch, reading his newest murder thriller. He thinks I'm in the kitchen making dinner but what am I, a servant? He has fingers and a phone; he can order a pizza right?

So I'm at the kitchen table and was checking email when I saw lots of reviews and friend requests! Yay! You made my day happy people!

Oh and exciting news! Someone finally drew some art of me and Chris! The link is available on Kiki's profile and was drawn by the divine Rae-Asakura. I love her so much. I changed my profile pic on facebook to Rae's pic just so you know. I'm still the only cartoon picture under Scott Bennet...

Alrighty, should I just jump right into it? Or do you guys like my opening rambles?

Oh! I just remembered! It's snowing out! Yayness! It's that perfect fluffy pretty snow and I'm so gonna drag Chris out on a walk later. Which reminds me, it's really cold, I'm gonna go grab a sweater. Don't let Chris take over the computer while I'm gone okay?

Yay, he didn't notice I wasn't playing housewife. Thank goodness for iPods.

So first up is Crazy4Pie, nice to hear from you again so soon.

Yes, I've eaten crickets, they're a delicacy in some countries and I only tried them cooked, I can't imagine them raw without seasonings, ew!

**Do you have any plans for the holidays?**

Yep! Chris begged me not to visit my family this year (he secretly loves them really) and I agreed since we saw them last month. So instead Chris and I are ditching the snow and taking a trip to the Caribbean! I admit, I'm sad to leave the snow behind (I love cold, I know I'm weird) but I honestly can't wait to go on my first ever cruise! We'll get to see all these pretty islands and I've read all about our ship. It has a water slide and an arcade and a rave club! Eee epicness! I can't wait and Chris says he can't wait to see me in a bathing suit. Horny Bastard. Although that didn't stop me from buying skin tight pink boyshort-style trunks, I'm so evil.

Our trip is gonna be so cool! We're gonna have fun in the sun~!

**How was your Thanksgiving?**

Well, hmm I have to dial back a bit for that one. Time for a history lesson everyone! We actually do celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada even though it is an American holiday. Except instead of November, we celebrate it on the second Monday of October.

And this year, we went to visit my family. Ruth and her husband, Matt and little Uriah were there and Tess brought her new boyfriend Snake, I never did catch his real name. Chris was thankful for Snake since it lifted all of the attention off of him. Dinner was delicious, I got to make the turkey this year and everyone thought the cherry glaze was a nice touch. After dinner, we sat around and talked and somehow by the end of the evening Snake ended up covered in butterscotch pudding and out on the lawn with Tess telling him good riddance and slamming the door in his face. I think Chris might've had something to do with that as he was the last one I saw near the pudding and Snake was trying to feel up Tess.

So all around, a typical Bennet holiday.

**If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?**

Narnia, duh.

Oh you meant seriously? Well then, I've always wanted to see Paris or Italy. Paris, so I could practice my French (and French-kissing ^.~) and I've heard they have great shopping there. Italy because it's just so pretty and awesome. I wanna see Rome and sail around Venice and have_ real_ Italian wine. Or buy a villa in Tuscany, Heehee, I watched that movie last night, don't mind me.

I'd also really like to go to England again which Chris hinted we might someday soon. I want one of those palace guard hats and to go to Topshop! London has the best shopping ever! Me and Tess had so much fun there when we went during Spring Break my senior year (Tess was a sophomore). We even got a palace guard to smile…

**Favorite book?**

I have a few actually. Big surprise right? I do love reading, which for some reason surprises people. I guess I come across as a ditz when you first meet me.

Anyway, I love the Harry Potter and Narnia series. I've recently become a fan of Twilight also which is an endless torture for Chris. He tried to burn my Edward t-shirt the other day (It's okay, I have spares). I admit, I purposely fawn over Twilight just to make Chris jealous.

Some others include the Rainbow Trilogy by Alex Sanchez, a great gay series that really gets the drama of being gay in high school. Another gay author I like is Brent Hartinger, his books are more light-hearted but still cover the angst.

And of course, Pride and Prejudice although I admit Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is much more entertaining, even Chris read it. And to go along with P&P, is a great book that I've read three times called Me and Mr. Darcy by Alexandra Potter. The main character goes to England on a book tour and meets Mr. Darcy but how is that possible when he's fictional or is he? Heehee, it's such a great book.

I'm not afraid to say that I love chick-lit, boys, hate me if you dare but I love girly books, one of my favorite authors is Meg Cabot and go read V club by Kate Brian. It is awesome sauce!

My all time favorite book though is Treasure Island. I read it at least once every year. I just love it.

**Most surprising thing Chris has ever done for you?**

Hmm, I'm not sure. At first, when I started dating Chris, I didn't think it would last long seeing as Chris seemed like the love them and leave them type. But then I got to know him and love him and he proved to be a great boyfriend. So I guess what surprised me was how fast everything happened. We moved in together after only 8 months of dating and were practically like a married couple after only 3 months.

I think how devoted Chris is, is the most surprising though. In our four years together, he's never once flirted with others or wavered in his love for me. I mean, he's only human so he's looked at others but then so have I so that doesn't matter and now I'm rambling so new topic!

I think the most surprising thing Chris has ever done is get me a puppy. Tess loves Flipper by the way and has renamed him Q-tip.

And next is Jason Krueger Myers. Yes, Chris loves horror movies, he'd love to have a Friday the 13th marathon with you. Enjoy it without me, I will be out doing _anything_ else. I like old horror movies like Dracula or the Wolf man but new horror movies, I can't stand. Chris made me watch Saw with him and I couldn't sleep for weeks.

And don't worry, Chef didn't use real bullets, it was a BB gun. I have a cool scar on my shin now.

**What was your first impression of Chris?**

Haha, you really wanna know? If you read Tales of Tattoos and Thongs, then you read about our first meeting but that's not actually the first time I saw or heard of Chris.

I had been working at the studio for about two years then and heard the rumors that we were getting a new host who had been in the music and film industry before coming to us. And then I talked to a few people who knew him or had worked with him and the stories of him being a sadistic, egotistical lazy-ass did not make him appealing at all.

So when he first came to our company, I avoided him. This was pretty easy actually since he was hosting Canadian Idol and I was filming some soap opera. I did spy him a few times from across rooms or something and thought he was cute but thinking he was a jerk, I wasn't impressed. And he dumped coffee all over me once, he didn't notice. He bumped into me, he was running and spilled his coffee, ruining my 'Homophobia is Gay' t-shirt, only muttering a quick apology over his shoulder but continuing to hurry out of sight.

So you can see, not exactly a good way to start off and explains my semi cold greeting to him when we first met. But damn him, he just had to prove that he had a brain and was able to keep up with me and get me to go out with him. So see, you can't judge someone by first impressions.

**What is your favorite movie?**

Sorry Jason, this question was covered in one of my first interviews, go back and read it cuz it was quite a long ramble and I don't feel like typing it again. But I think you can guess some of my favorites just by looking back at my fav books.

**Did you have any long time partners before Chris?**

Surprisingly, no. All my past boyfriends never lasted longer than 6 months at least. I think my longest lasting relationship before Chris was in high school. I dated Logan from sophomore year till the summer before my senior year (the vampire from Halloween remember?) He was cute, athletic and a musician. He played guitar and violin and worked for his dad's construction company.

Logan was a great boyfriend but after being together almost a year, he wanted a more "intimate" relationship if you know what I mean. So eventually he dumped me and even though it broke my heart, I got over it by the end of that summer. Don't ever let someone pressure you into sex!

I actually saw Logan when we were in Quebec for Thanksgiving, his long red hair that I used to love to pet, is short and balding now. He has a potbelly and was yelling at a gaggle of loud red-headed kids so I think I dodged a bullet on that one. I smirked when Chris and I passed him, holding hands. His dumbfounded face was so priceless.

TwilightAddict111! Yay, I beat Tinkerbelle! I bet I could wear her outfit so much better than her anyway.

**Where do you see yourself in ten years?**

Um….

Hopefully living in a mansion with my award winning actor husband. I'd have won seven Grammys by then and our four dogs would be dog show champions and our twins Vanessa and William would be child prodigies, Vanessa a painter and William a pianist.

Too much? Okay, I hope to be an actor by then, otherwise I hope my life remains as is. I'm pretty content with it.

**What was the worst thing you ever did in school?**

Whatcha talking about? I was a perfect angel in school! I think you people take this prankster side of me too seriously. Just because I torture my lover and friends and family…and random strangers, does not mean I ever put frog spawn in my teacher's teacup. Or exchanged tests with online quizzes, or skipped class to make out with guys in janitor's closets. I never snuck into my evil fifth grade teacher's room and glued all the desks and furniture to the ceiling. How dare you insinuate such a thing!

I also never hacked into the PA system and blasted Ok2Bgay through every speaker in the school. And I never even dreamed of streaking during a football game to get a gay footballer to come out of the closet.

I was a perfectly good student and I don't appreciate you assuming that I was naughty.

**Who was your first kiss?**

My first kiss was in kindergarten, I was a flirt even back then and it was Christmastime and some boy decided to bring in mistletoe for show and tell and somehow I ended up under it with a dopey boy who didn't seem to realize I was a boy (it was probably the princess costume at Halloween that confused him).

But you meant my first real kiss didn't you? Heh. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was 13 and fortunately for me, I had come to terms with my sexuality a long time ago, my parents knew I was gay before I did and encouraged it and all that so yeah I was lucky.

I met David at a park and he was blown away by my hyper personality and girly clothes. He admitted to liking me and we began meeting at the park often, we didn't go to the same school. David was 14 and was starting to get attention from girls and was beginning to realize that he may be more attracted to the same gender. He was the first closet case I had ever met and I was fascinated by him.

His parents were strict and he was scared that they'd hate him if he told them especially since he wasn't even sure about it himself. I comforted him with stories about my parents and how much they loved me, yadda yadda yadda and one day, he asked me if we could test whether he liked boys or not. I was still innocent back then and didn't understand. David's cheeks were pink but he was smirking as he leaned in and kissed me. I remember his lips were soft and he tasted like bubble gum. It was just a small kiss but I think it changed both of us. I really liked it and wanted to do it again and it helped David realize that he was in fact gay.

So, in a way, David was also my first boyfriend. We didn't "date" long, just kissed a few times and then went our separate ways. We saw each other in the park sometimes, he told me a few years later that he told his parents and they had accepted it, they didn't like it but they still loved him so everything turned out alright. I wonder how David's doing now?...

ShinigamiKarasu! Wassup shiznit?! We so need to do an ice cream run again, don't forget the water balloons okay?

Innocent Uke huh? Why do I somehow doubt that? ;)

Questions about the campers? Hmm, change of pace, I like that. Okay, here goes!

**Which ones are your favorites?**

Well, I loved watching Duncan during the challenges, he was funny and entertaining. And it was hilarious watching him and Horatio off camera.

I also love Katie and Sadie, they're just too cute. Most people find them annoying but to me they are sweet.

Let's see, who else did I like? Oh yeah, Noah was cute, I like bookworms. Cody, who doesn't like the Codester? I didn't like Beth in TDI but I think she got better during TDA. Me and Horatio are official captains of the DJ fanclub.

My fav camper though was Eva, she scared the heck outta me but since I was safe behind my camera, I found her funny also and very awesome. I'd love to have her on my side in a fight.

**Which ones do you hate?**

Ahem.

COURTNEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ~cough~

Now with that said, I won't elaborate on my hate for Courtney becuz it would waste a page of space. And she also caused huge fights between Shio and Duncan so yeah, big thumbs down for Courtney.

Another would be Lindsay, she's so nice and sweet and we actually got along the few times we talked on set but her hotness must be taken into account and the fact that a lot of fans took Chris' comments to her as flirting which it certainly was not. And the amount of stories and tabloids about Lindsay and Chris makes my stomach hurt. So I like Lindsay as long as she's a whole thousand miles away from Christopher.

I don't think I need to mention Heather. Although, other than the restraining order, I didn't really care about her all that much. She made good reality TV.

Oh and I hate Owen. No offense, he's nice and all but he scares me…no idea why. He almost ate my makeup kit once. An unforgivable offense, thus the hate list. Nobody messes with my makeup…

**How would you have paired them up differently?**

First, Courtney and Duncan would have never happened even though Duncan was just acting and truly likes Shio, I just hate how it's the most popular pairing in this fandom. I can't go through a page of fanfics or fanart without seeing one if not more of Courtney/Duncan. Drives me crazy! Draw ScotCh not that crap!

Otherwise I don't really think much of the pairings, Gwen/Trent is cute and so is Bridgette/Geoff. Noah and Cody are doing well in case you were wondering.

My one pairing that I think would be cute would be Eva/Lindsay. Now before you join Kiki in a shudder of revulsion, think about it. The gruff workaholic and the dim blonde, how sweet would that be?

Other than that, I'm okay with all canon pairings. But to those of you who insist on Chris/Chef, all three of us want to slowly kill you with dull spoons…

And finally, James Stark and Lizzie! You're a badass uke too? Awesome! We'd so get along I know it! How was that Alice in Wonderland special? I missed it.

Lizzie, tell you dad that Liz-bizkit is so much cooler than Liz Biz ;)

**What do you want for Christmas?**

Oooh! Are we gonna go see Santa? I'll bring my list!

I want a goldfish, much easier to take care of, these cute kitty earrings I found, new rainbow socks, any item from gesshoku dot org , Star Trek and these awesome multi-colored chucks I found.

But I'm not selfish or anything…

**Have you ever tasted Germ-X?**

I'm glad to say I haven't Lizzie. I'm sorry that you did. I have tasted shampoo, rotten fish and a park bench though.

**If you could change one thing about Chris, what would it be?**

I don't know James, I love Chris but his ego could definitely use deflating don't you think? Yeah, that's what I'd change, make him less vain. I could do without all the mirrors and hair gel lying around. And just once, I'd like to attack Chris and mess up his hair without him freaking out, the only time I get away with that is if I'm naked.

**Who is your favorite vampire and werewolf from the Twilight series?**

Emmet and Seth are pretty cool but my favorites for guys, are Carlisle and Jacob. And for girls, I love Alice and Jane. At least movie wise, in the books, I love Edward and Caius and Nessie. No idea why, I just like who like. I don't get to talk about it very often since Chris growls at me and Kiki hits me with her notebook for even mentioning it. Although Kiki's never read it so what does she know?!

And this last question came in a private message.

**How many tattoos and piercings do you and Chris have?**

Heehee. Okay, so Chris only has the heart with my name on his shoulder and no piercings. He's just not a piercing type of guy. I, on the otherhand, have four tattoos. The quotation marks on my shoulder blades, 'Property of Chris MacLean' on my lower back and two purple stars, one on my right hip and the other on my left foot. As for piercings, I have my ears pierced and I love my rainbow flag earrings the best (and not just becuz Chris bought them). And for those who don't know which should be everyone but Kiki, Chris and Shio, I have my tongue pierced also. But I didn't get it for the stereotypical reasons so don't look at me like that! Although I definitely enjoy using it for its stereotype ;) But I mostly got it becuz I think it looks cute. I'm debating getting either my eyebrow or upper ears pierced next, what do you guys think? And please ignore Chris' hints that I should get my belly button pierced cuz that ain't happening!

Wow, this session was longer than the last and it had fewer questions, good job guys.

And I finished just in time! Chris just appeared in the archway to the kitchen and aww, he's hungry. A pouting, hungry Chris really_ really_ isn't fair.

I should get him some food and then ice skating! Yay!

Love you guys, peace out!


	10. Chapter 10

Hello all my lovely friends, fans, stalkers and readers! How are you all? Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year too. How were your Christmases, Hanukahs and Kwanzaa's?

Mine was amazing, my sisters came to visit for New Years and Christmas was quiet, just me and Chris, we avoided the work party this year. I'm excited; I got Gir shoes and socks! Heehee, so cute. (And for those wondering, the cruise mentioned previously isn't until later this month).

So I'm currently lounging on the bed in my new Gir pajamas (my sisters spoil me too much), jamming to the Glee soundtrack and Chris is in the shower after a tough day judging a skating competition.

And now onto the main event! *drumroll* Questions! Woohoo!

First up is ShadowLexis, love you hun, so glad to have found you on deviantart too!

And I'm guessing loving me like you love CSI is good? I'm more of a House fan when it comes to drama TV shows so I dunno.

As for Noah and Cody, I don't know what's going on with them, you'll have to read more tabloids or something cuz I know zilch. And give me the cookies beeoytch! I promise I won't moan about my weight, I was joking that one time with the ice cream! *pouts* Are they chocolate chip?

**Are you into manga/anime? If so, which ones?**

Nope. I've seen mangas and looked at a few but never got into them much. I only like one called FAKE by Sanami Matoh, it's funny and dramatic and the characters are beautiful but otherwise I'm not into it despite Kiki and Shio trying to convert me.

As for anime, I only like those Hayao Miyazaki movies. Howl's Moving Castle is my favorite and not just becuz Howl is hot. I like Spirited Away also.

**Are you into gaming?**

Me and Chris own an Xbox and are very obsessed with Halo and any skating/snowboarding games we can find. I got Chris Assassin's Creed for Christmas and he's been playing that a lot. The graphics are amazing, I love just watching him play.

I am a big fan of DDR and play that when I don't feel like doing real exercise, Chris is horrible at DDR surprisingly but I don't mind beating him at it, Heehee.

I'm pretty crap at Halo but I'm getting better, I'm unstoppable if I have the grenade launcher in my possession. Any other weapon though and I'm very easy to beat, I'll whip your ass at Tony Hawk though!...as long as you're not as good as Chris that is…

**What's the most romantic thing Chris has done for you?**

Hmm.

Well, there was the time I came home from finishing filming some western movie and Chris had my favorite meal prepared. Fish with rice and green beans, yum. The table and apartment was lit with candles and rose petals were on the bed. Very romantic, he was tender and sweet the entire night. Completely made up for the fact that he forgot my birthday the previous week.

Or maybe the time he braved a blizzard to get me some flowers on Valentine's Day.

I especially like the time he invited me onstage during Canadian Idol to announce our first anniversary and kissed me on live television.

Next up is VampireMangaYaoiFreak! Good to hear from you again!

**What is your favorite Twilight pairing?**

Heehee, I love Jacob and Jasper! Hate on me if you dare! (Canon pairs are okay too I guess…)

**What is the stupidest thing you've done on the TD set?**

1. Made out with Chris in every place imaginable.

2. Slept with Chris in every place imaginable.

3. Pranked Horatio whenever possible cuz he pranked back.

4. Tried to make my favorite pairs hook up but that didn't go well, Duncan still flirted with Courtney despite me stealing Shio's clothes all the time and Lindsay was too dumb to figure out why I kept shoving her in the confessional booth with Eva.

5. Gave Owen bean burritos before bed. He slept walked into our cabin, I don't even wanna know how he got across the lake.

6. Kissed Chris in front of the campers.

7. Got lost in the dark once on TDA and wandered into the boy's camper, fell asleep in Justin's bed. Both of us were very surprised in the morning and Chris almost killed Justin.

8. And told Geoff and Bridgette about Chris' tanning booth.

James and Lizzie! Hello, how is you guys? ^_^

And Lizzie, I'm not getting a piranha, I'd be way too scared of it to even think of feeding Chris to it.

**What is the weirdest commercial you've ever seen?**

So many to choose from but hands down is the Berries and Cream lad from the Starburst commercials. If you've never seen it, look it up and be scared.

But most commercials scare me so it's hard to choose.

**Did your siblings ever show you something that scarred you for life?**

Haha, Lizzie, are you scarred becuz James showed you ScotCh?

As for Ruth and Tess, Ruth recently showed me the video of her giving birth to Uriah. And Tess tricked me into watching Two girls and a cup. Don't let curiosity get you, stay away from that video. I'm serious, I puked.

When we were kids, Tess gutted a fish in front of me (and it's still my fav food for some reason) and Ruth was very honest and informative when I asked her where babies come from. Mommy whyyyyyy?

**What's your favorite thing to do outside?**

Is this a question? You should know its ice skating! I love twirling around on the ice and I'm getting good at my jumps. I wore a tutu last time, it was so worth the strange looks.

When it's not snowy out, I like walking and running through the park. Stargazing is fun too.

**Have you ever believed something to be true that's pretty impossible?**

Are you trying to tell me Santa and unicorns don't exist? You skeptic! Just like Chris, geez, at least Tess believes me. She's smart, she knows that Santa lives up at the North Pole and that the magic from Narnia powers up his unicorn drawn sleigh and the unicorns are able to fly becuz of the pixie dust from Tinkerbelle.

And I've seen Narnia, it exists. I cuddled with Tumnus in front of the fire and made out with Prince Caspian when Chris was interrogating Tumnus.

Are you also trying to tell me I'll never get my Hogwarts letter either? I'm sure they'll accept me as an apprentice or something! You just watch, I'll prove you all wrong! Wrong I tell you!

ShinigamiKarasu! Don't worry about the grape juice, I'm bringing wine so that way our victims will also smell drunk.

**What do you think of Edward and Jacob as a couple?**

Not as cute as Jacob/Jasper but way better than Edward/Bella. I tried to get Shio into Twilight since he's the one who recommended it to me, he read the first book and looked at me confused, saying, "I knew Bella was the main girl but I was so sure Edward and Jake were screwing each other on the side". He hasn't read the rest of the series since. I agree with him but still, his loss.

**What would you name the goldfish?**

Winston, duh!

Or Hades, or Swimmy or maybe Steve…

**What do you think of TDM?**

I can't wait for you guys to see it! It will be epic! And I think very well of it, who do you think came up with the musical part of it? Chris hates musicals. I'm such a sadistic genius. Heehee.

**Did you beat Heather's restraining order so you can film it?**

Heather may be vindictive but she's not very contract savvy. Her restraining order only banned me from _working_ on TD_A_. So as you know, we found a way around it since I got to be on set for TDA for at least part of it, I just didn't film it. Her contract says nothing about TDM so yes, I shall be working on it and it shall be sweet!

Just don't be surprised if Chris walks on camera one day with pink hair or something. I'll behave…mostly.

Ooh, Chris is out of the shower. I think he didn't dry off fully on purpose and that's not a towel, that's a washcloth. Horny Bastard.

Seeya next time loverlies, I have _business_ to take care of…


	11. Chapter 11

Hello internet-viewing world! I am back once again to regale you with my opinions and tales of my fab existence! I'm currently lounging in absolute comfort on a plush couch and being serenaded by Justin Timberlake. I'm currently house sitting for a friend and totally loving their big house. I might just have to replace our trusty old purple sofa with a leather one, they are **so** comfy! One bad thing about house sitting by myself though is it's lonely at night. Chris keeps calling and begging to join me but I refuse, Chris is bound to get _intimate_ and I doubt my friend would appreciate the knowledge that something _happened_ on their couch…and their bed…and their kitchen.

Besides, I want Chris to save up all that romantic stuff for our cruise next week! I'm so super excited! We leave Saturday and get a week in the beautiful, sunny Caribbean. I can't wait! I'll send you all postcards!

Now onto your questions!

James Stark and Lizzie, how ya doing? Keep out of trouble I hope?

**What is your favorite Disney Movie/Game/Show?**

I have never played Kingdom Hearts Lizzie, though I have seen pictures and I would have to agree with James, Axel looks cute.

You want me to pick a favorite? Is that possible? When it comes to Disney, I can't possibly choose, everything is brilliant! I can list the ones I watch most though, which would be, Beauty and the Beast, you can't go wrong with a "Looks don't matter" flick and I'm starting to think I may have a furry fetish. I love Little Mermaid too, it's just too cute and Eric is hot. My newest favorite is Princess and the Frog which I can't wait to buy! It's just the best, I love the music and the setting and the characters! It's all too good. As for non animated movies, I like that one called Hatching Pete, Jason Dolly is such cute jailbait.

Favorite game? Um, well I have Disney playing cards, those are fun to play poker with. But the only Disney game I think I've played is Disney Scene It. So fun to whoop Chris' ass with my unlimited knowledge, although he is getting better since he now watches Disney with me.

As for shows, much to Kiki (and Chris') dismay, I'm currently obsessed with Wizards of Waverly Place. No idea why I like it but it's cute and reminds me of Harry Potter. And Alex reminds me of Chris though he doesn't see the resemblance.

**What is the creepiest educational show you've ever seen?**

I looked up Hetalia after you mentioned it and watched a few episodes. I think it's cute, not creepy! It's an interesting way to tell about history and the characters are so cute. How can you not love Italy?

Ahem, anyway, the creepiest I've seen? Damn, asking me to remember high school? Well, one that sticks out is from science class, I don't remember what it was called but it was about black holes and had this creepy host. All he talked about was if you went through a black hole, you'd get "spaghetti-fied" and "spaghettification" was very bad. Weirdest video ever. Has anyone ever seen those history movies with Jim Fleet? He was creepy too. Or how about economy videos? Boring and the announcers are scary, they wonder why we hate school?

VampireYaoiMangaFreak! Hello again.

**What is your favorite Glee pairing?**

Heehee, ironically my favorite is Puck/Kurt also. Puck so wants him some little white boy booty. Kinda stereotypical gay pair but it's so cute and a much better alternative to Kurt/Finn. Everyone likes Finn, you don't need to throw Kurt into the mix. But oh! I just found out that they're giving Kurt a boyfriend in season 2! I'm so excited! I can't wait to see who it is and what he's like. I love Kurt so much and want him to be happy. Other Glee pairs that I like would be Will/Emma, Artie/Tina and Mike (Other Asian)/Kurt. Am I the only one who thinks Mike needs more love?

**What was your worst headache and what was the cause?**

Random question but I'll take it! I don't normally get headaches but there was this one time, Chris got appendicitis and had to be rushed to the hospital, then while at the hospital, I got a call from my mom. Tess had run away and was apparently in Edmonton somewhere and I had to find her. And then work called, asking about Chris since he had forgotten to call in sick and the producers asked me to find a replacement host for him. So here I am, running around Edmonton, looking for Tess, calling replacements and worrying about Chris who was in surgery. It was a wonder I didn't pass out.

Turns out Tess hadn't run away and was only visiting me, Chris has a cool scar on his stomach and the replacement worked hard but didn't have the same level of charisma as Chris.

**When did you think something couldn't get any worse and then it did?**

Anything on the Total Drama set.

Once in college, got hit on by a guy but I turned him away. He got drunk and grabbed me later. I thought it was too late and was saved at the last second by a bouncer. Ironically the same bouncer I lost my virginity to awhile later.

The time me and Chris got stranded on the highway and had to walk to a gas station. Of course, on the way, it started raining. We both got super bad colds.

When I finally decided to move in with Chris, I found out all his quirks and bad habits. And I fell in love with him anyway.

Before I met Chris, I was ice skating and tried to get this hotties attention by bumping into him and smiling. Not only was he straight, but he later collided with me and I broke my ankle.

Don't worry Karasu, the wine isn't for drinking. Just ruining clothing.

**Which campers do you think will have the best singing voices?**

Horatio says Duncan can sing but I don't know if he meant sing musically or _sing _as in scream. I don't think I wanna know.

I think Heather and Leshawna may surprise us with good voices. And I'm really hoping Noah has a set of pipes cuz I think that'd be so cool.

I saw Alejandro's audition. Wow.

**Have you ever seen Mythbusters?**

I love that show. Chris loved their Shark Week episodes. I like finding out if life's little mysteries are true or not. One of my favorite experiments was dropping a penny off the Empire State Building.

**What is the stupidest thing you and Chris have ever fought over? Your sisters too?**

My sisters and I fight over the usual sibling things like possessions, taking turns, make up and boys. Wait, other boys don't argue with their sisters over lipgloss? Weird.

Tess and I fight over music a lot and Ruth is a pacifist but she will bite your head off if you eat her special vegetarian food without permission. Ah Irony.

As for me and Chris, we have all the typical lover's spats over chores, food and such. But since this is Chris MacLean we're dealing with, we also argue over hair gel, over the top pranks, whether or not Rick really does lust for me (he doesn't) and Chris' perverted fantasies. Like I would really walk around in a skirt whenever at home just to please him! As if….heheh.

Well, that be it for this round! I'd better make myself some dinner and feed the cats. Love you all and I'll see you when I get back from the cruise!


	12. Chapter 12

Hello? Is anyone still out there? Or is this story covered in dust and forgotten?

Bonjour! Buenos Dias! Hallo! And welcome to all of you currently reading this, I'm sorry about not updating for awhile but I was waiting for more questions. I only have four for this chapter so sorry if it's short. Are you guys running out of questions? Haha, don't worry, I'll keep this interview going for as long as I can even if I have to make up questions myself!

So how have you all been? I've been doing great, we're getting all prepared for TDM which is gonna be amazing. Chris and I are also as mushy as we've always been and I have great news! He proposed on Valentine's Day! Finally right? We're probably gonna wait a long while before getting married but still yay! Oh and if you didn't know, gay marriage is legal in Canada.

Yay, now I'm all happy again and ready to answer your questions! So first up is shinigamikarasu:

Yes, I checked out Hetalia, mainly cuz Avery made me but I must admit, I love it and its so cracktastic! Germany and Italy make me laugh. But my favs are China, America, Austria and Canada. I love how they portray Canada, so cute! But hey, we exist! Don't forget that we're here! Canada is not America, I so plan on cosplaying as Canada sometime, that'd be so fun!

**Have you ever had some teacher hate you for no reason?**

Hmm, I dunno. Most of my teachers liked me cuz despite my pranks, I was a good student. But there was my homophobic principal in high school. He was always trying to catch me in the act of something so he could have reason to give me detention. He denied my request to start a GSA and me and Avery almost got suspended for participating in the Day of Silence (for gay rights) when we put duct tape over our mouths. And yet people didn't get in trouble for doing the same thing for abortion? Frickin' hypocrite. Mr. Morris is the reason I'm glad to be graduated and far away from that school.

**What was the best thing on your cruise?**

Ack, it's been two months already since our cruise. But it was brilliant! That ship was huge! Like a floating city!

I got seasick the first night but was fine for the rest of the week. Oh it was so great. Our days kinda had a schedule, we'd wake up and have breakfast out on the deck and then go off the boat to whatever port we were at. Around dinner we'd go back to the boat and get dressed up and go to the formal dining room, then after the best food ever we'd go to the evening show and when that was over, we'd spend our evenings doing whatever. I loved just going up on the highest deck and watching the moonlight shine on the water. So beautiful but very windy :p

My favorite island was St. Lucia, it's so pretty and they have the best bananas I've ever tasted but they send their crops to England while North America gets its bananas from Brazil and such. Our tour guide on St. Lucia was hot too ;) I like that Caribbean accent.

St. Maarten was a cool island too, that's the island that's half Dutch half French. We shopped on the French side and the vendors were surprised when I was able to bargain with them in their "native tongue". And for you Star Wars fans, the guy who made Yoda lives on the Dutch side and has his very own store/museum. I got to shake his hand, haha.

Overall, I loved our cruise and would love to do one again, my only complaint is being stuck on the boat with no where to go when you're out at sea can be kind of annoying.

Now VampireMangaYaoiFreak, what's shakin' bacon? It's almost April, Glee is almost here! I'm so excited!

**What was the best advice you ever got and who was it from?**

Ruth when I was 5: "Don't eat yellow snow"

Mom when I was 7: "Just be yourself and people will love you"

Dad during that brief time I was into tennis: "You hit the ball back over the net, as hard, and as deep and as often as possible" it didn't help my serve at all but it became useful later on in life for…other 'exercises'. I don't think that's what my dad intended but we'll just keep that our little secret okay?

Avery when I got bullied: "Dude, just look them right in the eye, bat your eyelashes and when they blink in confusion, knee them right in the groin!"

Grandma before she died: "Don't let those boys get in your pants until at least the fourth date and no doing it in a car, very uncomfortable." I miss that woman.

One of my favorite professors from my freshman year of college: "When in doubt, make a fool of yourself. There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth. So what the hell, leap."

And finally Tess: "Scott, it doesn't matter if people don't like you for being gay, they're idiots. And as long as you don't get AIDS or a lisp, everything will be fine." …Thanks Tess, I love you too…

**What would have happened if you had met Chris earlier in life?**

Truthfully? I don't think we would have ended up together like we are now. I think it was destiny that we met when we did and if we had met any earlier, it wouldn't have ended well.

Need an explanation? Well, I guess the first thing to do would be tell you about Chris' childhood.

Chris never knew his father, his mother didn't even tell him she was pregnant so Chris has no idea who his dad even is. And Chris' mom is a nice enough woman, she just wasn't a very loving mother. She worked all the time and left Chris at home with the housekeeper who mainly just cleaned and made his meals. Chris spent most of his time playing outside with his video camera and trying to convince other kids to make movies with him. So growing up, Chris was lonely and made friends by being a prankster which slowly evolved into the sadist he is now. But please don't think his mom was horrible, she wasn't home often but she did try, she attended every single play he acted in and always made sure he went to the best schools. Although if that cell phone rang, well, her clients came before her son's rendition of Mercutio in _Romeo and Juliet_.

Chris left home when he was 16, moving in with a college buddy of his, where he started on his singing career and he eventually got into acting and the rest is history. Kinda explains his personality doesn't it? He was spoiled but didn't get any attention and was always told to look his best. Chris doesn't know it but he has abandonment issues because of his dad which is why he's so clingy and afraid I'll leave him for Rick or somebody else.

He's still in contact with his mother, he calls her on her birthday and vice versa but that's about it and I've only met her once, she reminded me of Professor McGonagall from Harry Potter.

So if we had met when we were kids, I believe we would have been friends and partners in crime but I think we would've drifted apart as we got older and I would slowly see him get more sadistic which would have scared younger me and I wouldn't like him.

If we had met in high school, I think we would've dated but being young, it wouldn't last. And when Chris was a teen, he was a bit of a player, he says meeting me was the best thing that ever happened to him because it ended his seemingly endless string of one night stands.

So really, I think meeting Chris earlier on wouldn't have had such good results, we needed to meet when we were fully grown up and knew what we wanted. We could have dated as teen's maybe but I'm not sure. Maybe I need a time machine to truly answer this question. Besides we grew up on opposite sides of the country.

Ah! Out of questions already? Sadness!

I hope you guys enjoyed this and sorry for all the angst about Chris but I wanted you to see why he is what he is.

Toodles for now and hope to hear from you all soon!


	13. Chapter 13

*meekly peeks out and blinks at the waiting reviews and blushes at last update date*

Hello all, I'm soooooooooooooooooooooo sorry!

I've been so busy with World Tour and other such things that I totally forgot about this interview!

I hope it will be easy to forgive me since I gave Kiki permission to post all those moments she saw during World Tour…

Anyway, I finally found a free moment to sit down and realized I had old reviews sitting in my inbox. I knew that this wrong must be amended right away!

Okay, I'm safely shut away in Chris' quarters on the plane; the door is Sierra-proofed as are the vents. Let's begin.

First up is shinigamikarasu

**How does Avery get along with your sisters?**

Oh don't get me started on the terrible trio. Avery loves me and is my best female friend for life but she also loves my sisters and will therefore tell them secrets I didn't want them to know or help them with pranks. It's like having three sisters instead of just two! I guess I'm lucky that my family likes my bestie so much and I adore Avery's dads, they treat me like a son but I feel like there should be boundaries you know? Like your sisters knowing intimate details about you makes sense, they grew up with me and all but for them to go and share those same details with your best friend? Avery didn't need to know about my obsession with glitter when I was 6! Thank you very much Tess!

Ugh, sisters…

**Have you seen Princess and the Frog yet?**

Wow, this IS old. But yes! I've probably seen it like 50 times now! It's my new fave Disney movie, after Beauty and the Beast, Little Mermaid and Mulan of course. Naveen is so hot! And I loved all the voodoo and Tiana was a strong female lead! And Ray! "Ma belle Evangeline~" Eee! Love this movie. The only disappointment is that Naveen spends too much screen time as a frog and not enough as a human. Yum.

VampireMangaYaoiFreak! Wassup yo?

**What did you think of the Sectionals episode of Glee?**

Dang, gotta dial back for that one. I loved it, all the Emma/Will love and Finn finally finding out about the baby and the songs! 'Don't rain on my parade' is one of the most listened to songs on my iPod.

**Have you ever cosplayed?**

Well, a lot of my Halloween costumes were of Disney characters and such. But I take cosplay to mean going to a convention or something. I went to ComiCon with Chris becuz he was on a Total Drama panel. I dressed as Italy from Hetalia; I dyed my hair brown for it too. I wore his school uniform outfit, it was really fun. Can you guess who Horatio went as? (Hint: White hair)

Hey Kinda Sorta Insane. Mind if I still call you Stark?

**Can you or Chris sing?**

Well, as you've briefly heard on World Tour, Chris doesn't have a bad voice. I mean, come on, he was in Fame Town! Heehee, that still cracks me up. As for me, yeah I can sing, not too well in my opinion but Chris and Avery have told me otherwise. You'll never see me on Canadian Idol or getting a solo on World Tour but I can definitely hold my own.

**What do you think Chris would say if you told him 'I know what you did'?**

I'm very scared of what I would learn from that talk. If I'm not already in on the idea, it's probably not a good (or safe) idea. Though maybe Chris would finally confess where he hid my Nutella. It will not make me fat! Damnit MacLean!

And last but not least, I ran over the taco bell dog. Love your name hun.

**What would you do if saw Chris kissing someone else?**

Okay, first I would pull that skank off my man by their hair and proceed to claw their eyes out. Then once I had knocked them out, I would then turn to Chris and rip that bastard's lips off.

Or more likely, I would cry, slap the stranger and wait for Chris to explain. If it was a fangirl who attacked him, I could forgive that. If not, well, I do not tolerate cheating so I guess I'd be single again.

Though I don't think I need to worry, do you?

And done! Thanks for those reviews, don't worry about asking more if you don't want to. This story might be dead, though I think that's up to you peeps isn't it?

Well, Ta-ta for now, Chris just got in the hot tub and he looks lonely.

Till next time

Scott Bennet-MacLean


	14. Chapter 14

So, do you ever find yourself so bored that you dig through old documents on your computer and find long-forgotten things that were destined to never see the light of day ever again?

Yeah, that's what happened to me today.

For those of you who forgot, Scott Bennet here, once again reporting for duty and finally updating this somewhat official biography.

Gosh, a lot of these questions are so outdated now…I'm soooo sorry! My time has been consumed by Revenge of the Island and going back in time with all these AU's Kiki's been writing lately…

But I'm ready to answer now, I'm armed with iced tea and air conditioning and Chris is napping so let's get cracking shall we?

First is livingthegamecalledlife, great name hun

**If you could have any superpower, what would it be OR if you could be any superhero, who would you be?**

Well, Kiki's favorite superpower is super speed and I see the appeal of being able to run anywhere in the world in a matter of seconds but that just doesn't fit me personally. Hmm, I think control over water would be cool…does that mean I could make it snow whenever I wanted? YES! Snow as a super power! Decision made!

Let's see, Avery is quite a comic book nerd so I know a lot about Marvel and DC heroes. If I could _choose _to be any hero, I think I'd pick Beast Boy although he has a fairly angsty past, is there any hero who doesn't?

In that case, I pick Wiccan, that way I can at least be in a relationship with Hulking. Yay canon gay couples!

**What are your thoughts on Seasons 2 and 3 of Glee?**

Oh Glee, you delightfully silly show…

Well, there are things I like and hate with every episode. Like, since there are 3 different directors, every episode has a different tone or certain characters are serious one episode, idiotic the next, depending on who wrote it. But it's still a good show and overall I enjoy it.

I loved the whole Klaine arc during Season 2, they were adorable and any Puck arc they did, like with Shelby, Beth or Lauren. I just love when they focus on Puck in general. A thing for bad boy types? I have no idea what you mean…

Oh, but by far, my absolute fave thing was Karofsky! His journey was so sad but satisfying and you couldn't help but root for him at the end. If Blaine wasn't in the picture, I'd support a little Kurtofsky…

Kiki loved Karofsky too and was so mad with how he didn't get enough love. She ended up making a boyfriend for him and has an entire story in her head about them. His name is Skylar and as much as I would love to see her write it down and post their love story, she probably never will. Without encouragement that is ;)

**Have you ever sent a fake email/letter or at least thought about it?**

Well, for April Fool's Day last year, I sent Chris an email saying he'd won a life's supply of his favorite hair gel. I even went so far as to have a box delivered to our apartment. It was filled with Fame Town merchandise. His face was priceless.

Lexis my love! I miss you darling and hope life is treating you well. Can I come visit soon? I miss England as well.

**You like my doodles and what do you want me to draw?**

I _love _your pictures, they make my life that much more fab. Though I do wish you'd stop drawing me with long hair, I haven't had it that long since college. I much prefer my pixie cut

As for what to draw, I have no idea! I think that's a question for Kiki and she always just hides her face in flattered shame every time it's brought up. She's not worthy of any fanart and yet you've made so much awesome she doesn't deserve. Her words not mine.

Fine, since she won't say it, I'll just ask myself. I want a sexy pic of Chris, just Chris, preferably naked (or as naked as can be that is), possibly in bed? I don't know, you're the artist, not me.

I still love you though.

**And what are you going to do for Chris' birthday?**

Well, Chris' birthday was July 8th. And I did what any loving boyfriend would do on their lover's birthday.

I took him to a strip club.

And since he's not into muscular guys, he prefers slender figures ;) He really wasn't into it.

That is until the real surprise happened and I took the stage as a "special guest". Getting a lap dance from me in a pink thong in front of a crowd seemed to make his night.

Best boyfriend ever? Well, I try.

From kakashinightroad

**What did you do to get a Buckingham palace guard to smile?**

When jokes and funny faces didn't work, I finally gave up and paid him 10 quid. Smiled like an idiot for that.

From Nancy Hardy:

**What makes you get turned on?**

Oh gosh…

1) Cheekbones you could cut glass on. (Yes I mean you Colin Morgan)

2) Bronzed muscular shoulders…and other body parts…but a good tan goes a long way

3) When the colors black and blue get worn together and yes I realize Chris has black hair and often wears a blue shirt. Trust me…I've noticed.

4) When someone is reliable. I once had a boyfriend who never showed up on time or cancelled often, being punctual slowly became more and more appealing.

5) Rain, I could kiss a cute guy forever in the rain.

6) Badass Long coats, like the kind guys wore in Regency England. So hot.

7) Chivalry, I almost jumped a guy for opening a door for me once, I was single at the time. And lonely.

8) Tattoos

9) When Chris gets particularly possessive.

10) Inflatable rafts. Long story.

From tmmdeathwishraven

**How did you know Chris was the One?**

I've never told anyone this. Not even Chris or Avery.

We'd been dating for 3 months, winter was making way for spring and everything was thawing. I got mugged. Nothing of value was taken besides some money and a silver charm bracelet given to me by my grandma. I was devastated about the bracelet because of it being the one thing I had left of her but I played it off, not wanting to seem childish. I think Chris noticed anyway.

But time went by, a few weeks past and I got over it. Until one night, Chris shows up at my apartment, out of breath and holding the bracelet.

He'd hunted the guy down and beat him up until he'd coughed up my bracelet and then Chris turned him in to the police.

Yeah, I was smitten after that and coincidentally, me and Chris made love for the first time a week later…Chivalry and a good tan, gets me every time.

**Do you know or are you friends with any bi or lesbian girls?**

Avery swore she was bi in college. But then so did everybody else.

I'm friends with Eva, does that count?

There are a lot of bisexual people at the studio and I am friends with many of them. Hell, my own lover is bisexual. I can't believe I sleep with someone who used to sleep with girls…yuck.

And yes hunny, I would love to be your friend

And that ends round 13!

I'm sorry this interview died for awhile there but hopefully I have revived it.

As always, please send in any new questions. I love you all!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm tired and there's a very sexy host nearby just asking to be used as a body pillow.

Toodles!


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